As a kid whenever I've been asked what qualities need to be there for me to even consider dating someone, the obvious answer is that he has to be a Christian. Last Sunday, about half of you girls said this. It's so easy, though, to just say he has to be a Christian, yet there are so many different types of Christians at different walks in their faith. And it's incredibly easy to take a little thing, like the fact that they go to church, and claim they are a Christian when you are quite determined to have a major crush on them. To say they have to be a Christian might only mean that they have to go to church, read their Bible, and pray- two of which can be claimed and not actually done. Someone might meet those requirements and not actually be living a life for God.
Or maybe you're the kind of girl that just pulls all the fruits of the Spirit and says he has to be patient, kind, loving, ect. Actually finding a guy that has all the fruits of the Spirit, will probably be a little tough though. Either that or you won't end up looking to see if he has them all. At 10-14 yrs old, I'd say those boys aren't going to be there yet, but maybe they are growing in their walks with Christ. It should be obvious as these fruits begin to show.
My point here is that in saying he has to be a Christian, you're likely making a checklist of things it means to be a Christian. In making that checklist you might be creating a loophole for non-Christians to be potential dating. So here's some questions to make you think a little:
What do you mean when you say they have to be a Christian?
How should they be living if you're going to potentially date them?
What are some lifestyle habits they need to have in order to be in a relationship with them?
Every Christian has strengths and weaknesses. Certain qualities like patience might be strong in them but forgiveness not so much. As you make your lists of ten must haves or top 5 or 30 or however many you write down, if you said he has to be a Christian I challenge you to make your list by adding more to that. What will you be looking for to see that he is living his life for God? You can use some of the fruits of the Spirit but think even more about how that will impact your potential relationship with him.
Last Sunday I mentioned that for me he has to be willing to work on our relationship and encourages me to grow in my walk with Christ. Our (me and any potential guy here) relationships with God should be talked about often, and God needs to be at the center of mine and my future guy's relationship (which would be done in many different ways- maybe you can think of a few you would want). For your lists we don't want you to make a list of what you think you should be putting but rather what you're really looking for and what you really want.